Was the Dough Really Kneaded?
Another amusing contribution from my late Uncle Frank, kindly supplied by my cousin Gillian.
I have heard
with consternation,
since
confirmed by affirmation,
of a loaf
that brought the purchaser some dough!
It started
life as wholemeal bread
but proved
to be holemeal instead.
For as the
loaf was being sliced
a hole appeared;
it wasn’t nice.
The slices, replete with holes and all,
looked like
rings for a hoop-la stall.
The
confrontation with the store,
who hadn’t
seen such holes before,
brought
echelons of management
with profuse
apologies and amazement.
They
promised an investigation large,
and provided
a replacement loaf – “no charge”.
Complainant
walked boldly through check-out,
clutching
loaf, with chin stuck out.
End of
story, oh dear no.
A letter
came from the store’s H.O.
They were
taking it up with the bakery,
to trace the
cause of the mystery.
From the
bakers, regrets galore.
Even they
hadn’t seen holes like this before.
This sent
the boffins knead deep in dough,
their
in-depth studies seemed to show
excess
edible oil going to and fro.
With their
note of regret, as a mark of thanks
they send
him a fiver to put in the bank.
Though
richer in kind, a thought crossed his mind;
was the
explanation not what it seemed?
Had he
stumbled on a nefarious scheme?
Were the
holey loaves indeed designed
for some
specific job in mind?
Perhaps a
novelty for a particular place
where they
could capitalise on open space!
Imagine “a
souvenir from Wookey Hole”,
Or possible
“Cheddar Gorge”, upon my soul!
Frank L. Ashen
These events involved one of my neighbours. I may have embellished it a little! Frank
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